Work nightmare

My part-time return to work has been nothing short of a disaster and today it reached a new low. My boss called me into his office to discuss my work hours from February on and as I was already there he let me know that 2 people had complained about me being rude to them. He now wanted me to think about this for a week and then, at another meeting, present to him and our administrative supervisor in which way I intended to change my behaviour and how I would achieve that change. He really felt that this was important and if it "couldn't be solved to his liking" he would need to involve the union, the employer's association and a bunch of other people and then things would get really unpleasant. When I asked why the people I offended did not talk to me first (or why he did not suggest that) I was told that they were (probably) afraid of me.

I was stunned. Honestly stunned. I have no clue what he is talking about. He also would not give me any further info, not who I had insulted or in which way I had insulted them. I mean, you'd think that if they go to the boss with their complaint it must have been something serious, right? Shouldn't I remember that? I don't understand anything. I work 2 days a week and have so much to do that I more often than not do not even manage to eat lunch, leave alone take the time to talk to a lot of people. How did I supposedly manage to offend not only one, but two people to a degree that they would complain about me? I don't know what to say. Not now and probably also not next week. What am I supposed to apologize for? Which behaviour am I supposed to change? If you understand it, please explain, because I just don't.

Over time I have heard the most from my boss:

- that as a mother I am no longer a "real", "full" employee (because as a mother you work less hours and have to stay home with the kids when they are sick)
- that from an employer's point of view the 2 days a week I work at the moment are nothing
- that I ruin the working atmosphere for the whole department by being negative (he told me everyone suffered because of my bad attitude but it turns out that "everyone" had not noticed anything like that and didn't agree)
- that he did not want to use my pregnancy hormones as an excuse for my behaviour anymore (I am just as clueless about that comment).

And now this.

I think he is working really hard to get rid of me. Maybe that is what he really wants to hear from me next Wednesday. There is just so many good reasons not to want me around anymore: I am one of the top earners among the assistants, because I have been there longer than most of them. I am not interesting to him as an employee anymore (THAT I understood clearly!). I cause extra work by (shamelessly!) demanding a correct calculation of my vacation days and pay and turning to the union for help if necessary. Why put up with that when you can get someone fresh and young without "obligations" (= children) for less? He himself does not need to train those people, so what does he care?

Maybe you think I am delusional. Or senile. Or unfriendly so often that I don't even realize it anymore. But I am not. I talked to some people and the reaction was disbelief. Some also made a dismissing hand motion or said right out that it was very well possible that there hadn't actually been a complaint or at least no direct complaints about me the way he claimed. That's how much people like and trust him.

I don't know what the truth is. What I can say is that I honestly don't know what I did and to whom. Don't I have a right to know that if they make such accusations?

I have seen how it went for others who had children while being employed by my company and I don't want that for myself. I so deeply regret ever having returned to work. In the last 3 months I have apparently turned from an efficient model employee into an abusive, offensive monster that is out to crush everyone's soul. All that while doing 3 days worth of work in 2 days at the same time.

I take solace in the fact that for each person he says complained about me I can easily find 3 people that will gladly confirm that I am a friendly, fun and helpful colleague. But that's not really what this is about anyway. He does not care.
Well, I will take the time I have until the next meeting to think about if I really should return to work before "Player 2" is born. I honestly just want to stay home and enjoy my time with Pontus (which I should have done from the beginning) and later with the two of them. And MUCH later, when "Player 2" is old enough to go to Kindergarten, I can look for a new job to return to.

But why does it have to be like that?