I took a test titled "Har du koll på husmorstipsen?" ("Do you know your homemaker tips & tricks?") on Expressen today. And the result might come as a suprise to you (it sure shocked me):
Du fick 10 rätt av 10 möjliga
Husmorstipsen har räddat dig många gånger. Du är en riktig husmorstyp.
(You answered 10 out of 10 questions correctly)
(Homemaker tips & tricks have helped you many times. You are a true homemaker.)
Wow, those 6 months I was a member of the "Future Homemakers of America" back in 1994 certainly paid off. I seem to be some kind of genius housewife with mad domestic skills. Looking around the house though I must say that I hide my talent well...
Showing posts with label Life in general. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life in general. Show all posts
March 23, 2009
March 10, 2009
Melodifestivalen
This Saturday it's the final of Melodifestivalen and after sitting and watching no less than 2,8 of the 4 qualifying rounds as well as the last 10 minutes of Andra Chansen I consider myself sufficiently informed to give some qualified feedback:
Måns Zelmerlöw:
That suit, that suit, that suit. He looks like a cocktail waiter on a cruise ship. Or like the Swedish smalltown version of a James Bond impersonator. It is so, so sad. Right, he sang as well, something with "hope" and "glory". It was not bad, but it wasn't memorable either. It was radio music. He had a lot to make up for (even though there is really no excuse for a song like "Cara Mia") and this just didn't have enough of a wow factor. Sorry, Måns, maybe next year.
Caroline af Ugglas:
If someone is dressed like an escaped mental patient, moves like an escaped mental patient and sounds like an escaped mental patient - well, then he or she probably is an escaped mental patient. Snälla, snälla, snälla, dear people of Sweden, don't embarrass your country like this!
Agnes:
Ehm, I actually didn't remember her song - it was just that special. Which is sad, because I had really high hopes for Agnes. She is one of those people that do make good music and you expect her to come to Melodifestivalen and blow everyone away. "Release me" is a song that could have done really well at the ESC for example. Instead she shows up and sings something that is so boring, forgettable and substandard.
H.E.A.T.:
Oh yes, I can feel the heat! 80ies rock at its best and the only song I really liked. I hope they make it, but remembering how it went for The Poodles a couple of years ago I have my doubts. Come on people, get over the ever same-sounding softpop and the 1001 power ballads and sent some real music to the ESC for a change!
Emilia:
Harmless. Is there another word to describe her song? I don't think so. It was, you know, happy-happy pop. Didn't hurt, but didn't stick either. I probably wouldn't notice if she didn't show up on Saturday.
Alcazar:
Al-ca-zar, yes. Not a bad song, even though the chorus is a little weak. But hey, with those candy-coloured ABBA-inspired outfits and the groovy dance moves, who's listening too closely? Alcazar are known outside of Sweden which might be a plus, even though I think people overrate how much of a difference it really makes. The song might be popular with voters in Eastern Europe who don't yet know that Eurodance ended with the 90ies in the rest of the world.
Sarah Dawn Finer:
Booooobies! Oh come on, like you weren't looking. And I don't blame you. It was hard to look anywhere else - her ta-tas were all over the place. But if you did manage to divert your stare and focus on her face instead you could see that she apparently inherited Charlotte Perrelli's make-up artist from last year. There can't be another explanation for such an eyeliner disaster. It all really distracted from her song, but as it was just another lengthy ballad there was nothing to be missed.
E.M.D.:
I said it right away and there are comments of people on You Tube who agree with me: the guy who sings first (the "M" in E.M.D.) may have a beard and all, but he sounds like a little girl. It is unpleasant. As soon as he stops singing things get better. The song is even catchy enough to forgive them their extremely cheesy dance routine. I am not sure how good their chances at the ESC would be though...
Sofia:
When she made it to the final thanks to the vote of the ominous "International jury" I had a very hard time remembering who she was at all. My husband reminded me: "She was the one who sang in Greek". That sounded vaguely familiar. I wasn't sure what language it really was she sang in though. Might have been Greek, English, Swedish, Swahili or all of the above. But let's say it was Greek for easiness' sake. So can somebody who speaks Greek please tell her that Ruslana called. She wants her song back.
Molly Sandén:
She really has a great voice, but why did she have to sing a ballad? Correct me if I am wrong, but it's not like ballads have been winning the ESC lately. And her already small chances of succeeding with that song are further diminished by the fact that she sings in Swedish. Wasn't the idea was to achieve a better result than last year?
Malena Ernman:
I am not a big fan of that kind of music, but you have to give it to her: it would be something different to send to the ESC. There is also a chance that her high-pitched singing temporarily deafens people and makes it impossible for them to hear any contestants that perform after her (less competition = more votes?). Unfortunately her regular singing (meaning the one where she does not sound like she is getting electrocuted in the bathtub) is just not that good. At times she sounds like a guy, at times she sounds like somebody who learned English from a cassette course and at times she sounds like me - none of this being a compliment.
I think if H.E.A.T. does not make it to Moscow it will be a lot of "Sweden - zero points" again this year.
Måns Zelmerlöw:
That suit, that suit, that suit. He looks like a cocktail waiter on a cruise ship. Or like the Swedish smalltown version of a James Bond impersonator. It is so, so sad. Right, he sang as well, something with "hope" and "glory". It was not bad, but it wasn't memorable either. It was radio music. He had a lot to make up for (even though there is really no excuse for a song like "Cara Mia") and this just didn't have enough of a wow factor. Sorry, Måns, maybe next year.
Caroline af Ugglas:
If someone is dressed like an escaped mental patient, moves like an escaped mental patient and sounds like an escaped mental patient - well, then he or she probably is an escaped mental patient. Snälla, snälla, snälla, dear people of Sweden, don't embarrass your country like this!
Agnes:
Ehm, I actually didn't remember her song - it was just that special. Which is sad, because I had really high hopes for Agnes. She is one of those people that do make good music and you expect her to come to Melodifestivalen and blow everyone away. "Release me" is a song that could have done really well at the ESC for example. Instead she shows up and sings something that is so boring, forgettable and substandard.
H.E.A.T.:
Oh yes, I can feel the heat! 80ies rock at its best and the only song I really liked. I hope they make it, but remembering how it went for The Poodles a couple of years ago I have my doubts. Come on people, get over the ever same-sounding softpop and the 1001 power ballads and sent some real music to the ESC for a change!
Emilia:
Harmless. Is there another word to describe her song? I don't think so. It was, you know, happy-happy pop. Didn't hurt, but didn't stick either. I probably wouldn't notice if she didn't show up on Saturday.
Alcazar:
Al-ca-zar, yes. Not a bad song, even though the chorus is a little weak. But hey, with those candy-coloured ABBA-inspired outfits and the groovy dance moves, who's listening too closely? Alcazar are known outside of Sweden which might be a plus, even though I think people overrate how much of a difference it really makes. The song might be popular with voters in Eastern Europe who don't yet know that Eurodance ended with the 90ies in the rest of the world.
Sarah Dawn Finer:
Booooobies! Oh come on, like you weren't looking. And I don't blame you. It was hard to look anywhere else - her ta-tas were all over the place. But if you did manage to divert your stare and focus on her face instead you could see that she apparently inherited Charlotte Perrelli's make-up artist from last year. There can't be another explanation for such an eyeliner disaster. It all really distracted from her song, but as it was just another lengthy ballad there was nothing to be missed.
E.M.D.:
I said it right away and there are comments of people on You Tube who agree with me: the guy who sings first (the "M" in E.M.D.) may have a beard and all, but he sounds like a little girl. It is unpleasant. As soon as he stops singing things get better. The song is even catchy enough to forgive them their extremely cheesy dance routine. I am not sure how good their chances at the ESC would be though...
Sofia:
When she made it to the final thanks to the vote of the ominous "International jury" I had a very hard time remembering who she was at all. My husband reminded me: "She was the one who sang in Greek". That sounded vaguely familiar. I wasn't sure what language it really was she sang in though. Might have been Greek, English, Swedish, Swahili or all of the above. But let's say it was Greek for easiness' sake. So can somebody who speaks Greek please tell her that Ruslana called. She wants her song back.
Molly Sandén:
She really has a great voice, but why did she have to sing a ballad? Correct me if I am wrong, but it's not like ballads have been winning the ESC lately. And her already small chances of succeeding with that song are further diminished by the fact that she sings in Swedish. Wasn't the idea was to achieve a better result than last year?
Malena Ernman:
I am not a big fan of that kind of music, but you have to give it to her: it would be something different to send to the ESC. There is also a chance that her high-pitched singing temporarily deafens people and makes it impossible for them to hear any contestants that perform after her (less competition = more votes?). Unfortunately her regular singing (meaning the one where she does not sound like she is getting electrocuted in the bathtub) is just not that good. At times she sounds like a guy, at times she sounds like somebody who learned English from a cassette course and at times she sounds like me - none of this being a compliment.
I think if H.E.A.T. does not make it to Moscow it will be a lot of "Sweden - zero points" again this year.
March 04, 2009
SSD syndrome
I suffer from SSD syndrome. Not the heart condition. Not the one that you get from sniffing glue either. I am talking about the worst of all: Sticky Side Down syndrome.
The syndrome manifests itself several times throughout the day in the following way: I think about something I need or want to do. In a sudden moment of complete clarity my head reminds me of facts that are relevant for the execution of that task. Complete clarity is immediately followed by total amnesia. Without further consideration I go ahead with whatever I needed or wanted to do. The result can be rated on a scale from "slightly dangerous" to "stupid, but entertaining".
That was of course very theoretical, so let me give you some practical examples for how this rare disease affects my life:
Take today, roundabout 15 minutes ago. I am sewing a bag at the moment and wanted to take the time tonight to iron on the reinforcing fabric onto the lining. As I picked up the fabric I thought to myself "Remember to put it on the lining with the sticky side down". I then went on to check that I had the damp cloth needed to iron on the fabric, put it down on the lining and started to iron. And iron. And then iron some more. Still, every time I lifted the damp cloth, the fabric would come loose from the lining. You probably already figured it out, but it took me a whole 5 minutes (and lots of ironing) to realize that I had NOT put the fabric with the sticky side down after all and thus ironed it onto the damp cloth instead.
Then there is my little problem at work.
As the desk I am working at right now has only been set up temporarily for me, I am missing most standard office supplies and little extras that make life nice, such as a trash bin. Everybody else has got their own black plastic trash bin under their tables, while I have to go around and find somebody who will let me use theirs. However, several times a day I notice a big black object under my table out of the corner of my eye, which immediately triggers my instinct to throw away whatever stuff has been piling up on my desk. My head usually tells me that something is wrong, very wrong, about the picture of me throwing something into MY trash bin under MY table, but the thought disappears again as quickly as it popped up. And the next thing I know is that I have thrown candy wrappers and bits of paper into my winter boots.
SSD syndrome may not kill, but it does leave you feeling very, very "special".
The syndrome manifests itself several times throughout the day in the following way: I think about something I need or want to do. In a sudden moment of complete clarity my head reminds me of facts that are relevant for the execution of that task. Complete clarity is immediately followed by total amnesia. Without further consideration I go ahead with whatever I needed or wanted to do. The result can be rated on a scale from "slightly dangerous" to "stupid, but entertaining".
That was of course very theoretical, so let me give you some practical examples for how this rare disease affects my life:
Take today, roundabout 15 minutes ago. I am sewing a bag at the moment and wanted to take the time tonight to iron on the reinforcing fabric onto the lining. As I picked up the fabric I thought to myself "Remember to put it on the lining with the sticky side down". I then went on to check that I had the damp cloth needed to iron on the fabric, put it down on the lining and started to iron. And iron. And then iron some more. Still, every time I lifted the damp cloth, the fabric would come loose from the lining. You probably already figured it out, but it took me a whole 5 minutes (and lots of ironing) to realize that I had NOT put the fabric with the sticky side down after all and thus ironed it onto the damp cloth instead.
Then there is my little problem at work.
As the desk I am working at right now has only been set up temporarily for me, I am missing most standard office supplies and little extras that make life nice, such as a trash bin. Everybody else has got their own black plastic trash bin under their tables, while I have to go around and find somebody who will let me use theirs. However, several times a day I notice a big black object under my table out of the corner of my eye, which immediately triggers my instinct to throw away whatever stuff has been piling up on my desk. My head usually tells me that something is wrong, very wrong, about the picture of me throwing something into MY trash bin under MY table, but the thought disappears again as quickly as it popped up. And the next thing I know is that I have thrown candy wrappers and bits of paper into my winter boots.
SSD syndrome may not kill, but it does leave you feeling very, very "special".
January 28, 2009
Ångerrätt and bad karma
I thought I had found the ultimate little diaper bag to go with our new double stroller: a Ju-Ju-Be BeTween. The bag seemed to be big enough to hold everything needed for a quick trip with two children without being too bulky and it even matched the somewhat odd colours of our ABC Zoom, so I ordered it online at "Lilla Max och jag". It was not until I actually held the bag in my hands that I realized that the pictures and videos on Ju-Ju-Be's hompage had maybe been somewhat flattering as the bag turned out to be a lot smaller in reality than what I had anticipated. It was simply way to small for my purposes so I immediately contacted the lady running "Lilla Max och jag" about a return. In reply I got an email saying that she did not really want to take back the bag, considering it had been on sale and that she had already paid for the delivery to me (p&p was included for purchases exceeding 300 SEK). Wasn't I maybe interested in exchanging it against the next bigger bag in that line? I wasn't. The BeAll is not just bigger, it also has a completely different design and I really don't like it. So I told her I was sorry, but that that bag wasn't for me and that I really just wanted to return the BeTween and get my money back. That was yesterday.
Today I had received another email from her with a new suggestion: If I didn't want the bag, why didn't I just sell it on Ebay? People there would often bid more than what the bag costs in the stores. I wrote back, again, and, with as much politeness as I could muster, let her know that this was starting to feel somewhat unfunny. According to Swedish law I have a whole 14 days of "ångerrätt" (meaning a right to "regret" my purchase and return the goods) when purchasing items online. If this right should be affected by the item being on sale or her paying for the delivery, shouldn't that be pointed out somewhere? But it neither says anything on their homepage nor in any of the mails I got. Hell, I did not even know the bag was on sale until she said it - on their homepage it just says "Nyhet!" (meaning "New!"). Last time I checked, "nyhet" and "rea" (meaning "sale") were not the same word. And either way: it doesn't matter. I just want to return that bag and unless one of you can enlighten me otherwise I also assume that I am BY LAW entitled to do that.
The real question though is why I keep attracting problems like this. Why do I constantly need to argue and discuss with people to get my right? Is it all about bad karma? I must have sinned BIG TIME in a previous life: defiling graves, stealing candy from orphans and snorting cocaine off a hooker's body, or something along those lines. And now it's coming back to bite me in the ass.
January 03, 2009
Roxie/Roxy
I am curious to find out what people associate with that name.
Do you think Roxie/Roxy is...
a) a stripper
b) a dog
c) a theater/club
d) all of the above
e) something else (please explain!)
So far it's one vote each for a) and b), but maybe there is others out there who have more suggestions.
Do you think Roxie/Roxy is...
a) a stripper
b) a dog
c) a theater/club
d) all of the above
e) something else (please explain!)
So far it's one vote each for a) and b), but maybe there is others out there who have more suggestions.
January 01, 2009
Happy New Year!
May all your wishes come true! Mine already did - Pontus did not wake up from the fireworks. (Have I mentioned just how much I HATE fireworks?)
December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas!
And a good advice to all: don't let your mother-in-law catch you pulling a face when she unpacks fire-grilled, marinated eggplant she decided to contribute to the buffet as a surprise. Really, don't.
December 19, 2008
Corporate Santa
Muddiz got a gift basket with fine foods from her employer.
My husband got a high quality hoodie sweatshirt from his.
All I got from work was yet another incorrect lönespecification (payslip).
It seems like Corporate Santa really does check his list twice...
My husband got a high quality hoodie sweatshirt from his.
All I got from work was yet another incorrect lönespecification (payslip).
It seems like Corporate Santa really does check his list twice...
December 18, 2008
Recreation stress
Tomorrow Pontus will spend the day with his farmor (my husband's mother), so I can do whatever I want to. The problem is that I don't know what that would be. Usually we ship Pontus off to his grandparents when we have a lot of stuff to take care of that can be done easier and faster without him around, but tomorrow is just a normal weekday and my husband will be at work. It is too early to prepare the house for Christmas, there is no laundry that needs to be washed and with my luck it's probably "Sylvia Browne Wednesday" on "Montel" for the third time this week, completely killing any desire to watch tv before the day has even started. As far as going out is concerned I have already been downtown this week and don't enjoy crowds enough to want to go back anytime soon.
I know, it's a luxury problem. It just feels like I should really make the most of the day.
If there actually is such a thing as recreation stress, I have it. Help.
P.S.: No, I do not want to come and take care of your offspring instead. I am just desperate, not insane.
I know, it's a luxury problem. It just feels like I should really make the most of the day.
If there actually is such a thing as recreation stress, I have it. Help.
P.S.: No, I do not want to come and take care of your offspring instead. I am just desperate, not insane.
December 03, 2008
Work nightmare
My part-time return to work has been nothing short of a disaster and today it reached a new low. My boss called me into his office to discuss my work hours from February on and as I was already there he let me know that 2 people had complained about me being rude to them. He now wanted me to think about this for a week and then, at another meeting, present to him and our administrative supervisor in which way I intended to change my behaviour and how I would achieve that change. He really felt that this was important and if it "couldn't be solved to his liking" he would need to involve the union, the employer's association and a bunch of other people and then things would get really unpleasant. When I asked why the people I offended did not talk to me first (or why he did not suggest that) I was told that they were (probably) afraid of me.
I was stunned. Honestly stunned. I have no clue what he is talking about. He also would not give me any further info, not who I had insulted or in which way I had insulted them. I mean, you'd think that if they go to the boss with their complaint it must have been something serious, right? Shouldn't I remember that? I don't understand anything. I work 2 days a week and have so much to do that I more often than not do not even manage to eat lunch, leave alone take the time to talk to a lot of people. How did I supposedly manage to offend not only one, but two people to a degree that they would complain about me? I don't know what to say. Not now and probably also not next week. What am I supposed to apologize for? Which behaviour am I supposed to change? If you understand it, please explain, because I just don't.
Over time I have heard the most from my boss:
- that as a mother I am no longer a "real", "full" employee (because as a mother you work less hours and have to stay home with the kids when they are sick)
- that from an employer's point of view the 2 days a week I work at the moment are nothing
- that I ruin the working atmosphere for the whole department by being negative (he told me everyone suffered because of my bad attitude but it turns out that "everyone" had not noticed anything like that and didn't agree)
- that he did not want to use my pregnancy hormones as an excuse for my behaviour anymore (I am just as clueless about that comment).
And now this.
I think he is working really hard to get rid of me. Maybe that is what he really wants to hear from me next Wednesday. There is just so many good reasons not to want me around anymore: I am one of the top earners among the assistants, because I have been there longer than most of them. I am not interesting to him as an employee anymore (THAT I understood clearly!). I cause extra work by (shamelessly!) demanding a correct calculation of my vacation days and pay and turning to the union for help if necessary. Why put up with that when you can get someone fresh and young without "obligations" (= children) for less? He himself does not need to train those people, so what does he care?
Maybe you think I am delusional. Or senile. Or unfriendly so often that I don't even realize it anymore. But I am not. I talked to some people and the reaction was disbelief. Some also made a dismissing hand motion or said right out that it was very well possible that there hadn't actually been a complaint or at least no direct complaints about me the way he claimed. That's how much people like and trust him.
I don't know what the truth is. What I can say is that I honestly don't know what I did and to whom. Don't I have a right to know that if they make such accusations?
I have seen how it went for others who had children while being employed by my company and I don't want that for myself. I so deeply regret ever having returned to work. In the last 3 months I have apparently turned from an efficient model employee into an abusive, offensive monster that is out to crush everyone's soul. All that while doing 3 days worth of work in 2 days at the same time.
I take solace in the fact that for each person he says complained about me I can easily find 3 people that will gladly confirm that I am a friendly, fun and helpful colleague. But that's not really what this is about anyway. He does not care.
Well, I will take the time I have until the next meeting to think about if I really should return to work before "Player 2" is born. I honestly just want to stay home and enjoy my time with Pontus (which I should have done from the beginning) and later with the two of them. And MUCH later, when "Player 2" is old enough to go to Kindergarten, I can look for a new job to return to.
But why does it have to be like that?
I was stunned. Honestly stunned. I have no clue what he is talking about. He also would not give me any further info, not who I had insulted or in which way I had insulted them. I mean, you'd think that if they go to the boss with their complaint it must have been something serious, right? Shouldn't I remember that? I don't understand anything. I work 2 days a week and have so much to do that I more often than not do not even manage to eat lunch, leave alone take the time to talk to a lot of people. How did I supposedly manage to offend not only one, but two people to a degree that they would complain about me? I don't know what to say. Not now and probably also not next week. What am I supposed to apologize for? Which behaviour am I supposed to change? If you understand it, please explain, because I just don't.
Over time I have heard the most from my boss:
- that as a mother I am no longer a "real", "full" employee (because as a mother you work less hours and have to stay home with the kids when they are sick)
- that from an employer's point of view the 2 days a week I work at the moment are nothing
- that I ruin the working atmosphere for the whole department by being negative (he told me everyone suffered because of my bad attitude but it turns out that "everyone" had not noticed anything like that and didn't agree)
- that he did not want to use my pregnancy hormones as an excuse for my behaviour anymore (I am just as clueless about that comment).
And now this.
I think he is working really hard to get rid of me. Maybe that is what he really wants to hear from me next Wednesday. There is just so many good reasons not to want me around anymore: I am one of the top earners among the assistants, because I have been there longer than most of them. I am not interesting to him as an employee anymore (THAT I understood clearly!). I cause extra work by (shamelessly!) demanding a correct calculation of my vacation days and pay and turning to the union for help if necessary. Why put up with that when you can get someone fresh and young without "obligations" (= children) for less? He himself does not need to train those people, so what does he care?
Maybe you think I am delusional. Or senile. Or unfriendly so often that I don't even realize it anymore. But I am not. I talked to some people and the reaction was disbelief. Some also made a dismissing hand motion or said right out that it was very well possible that there hadn't actually been a complaint or at least no direct complaints about me the way he claimed. That's how much people like and trust him.
I don't know what the truth is. What I can say is that I honestly don't know what I did and to whom. Don't I have a right to know that if they make such accusations?
I have seen how it went for others who had children while being employed by my company and I don't want that for myself. I so deeply regret ever having returned to work. In the last 3 months I have apparently turned from an efficient model employee into an abusive, offensive monster that is out to crush everyone's soul. All that while doing 3 days worth of work in 2 days at the same time.
I take solace in the fact that for each person he says complained about me I can easily find 3 people that will gladly confirm that I am a friendly, fun and helpful colleague. But that's not really what this is about anyway. He does not care.
Well, I will take the time I have until the next meeting to think about if I really should return to work before "Player 2" is born. I honestly just want to stay home and enjoy my time with Pontus (which I should have done from the beginning) and later with the two of them. And MUCH later, when "Player 2" is old enough to go to Kindergarten, I can look for a new job to return to.
But why does it have to be like that?
November 16, 2008
First snow of 2008
This is probably not the most spectacular news to end my month-long blog abstinence, but, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you:
The first snow of 2008!
In November, that's right. Welcome to Sweden!
The first snow of 2008!
In November, that's right. Welcome to Sweden!
October 11, 2008
I own a what?
If I wrote a post every time I find something in our household that I did not know we had or rediscover something that we haven't used for years in some dark corner, this blog would be one of the most updated worldwide. I seriously can't believe what kind of and especially how many things we have bought over the years. Whatever their original purpose was, their only function now is collecting dust.
There is, for example, the lint remover (noppborttagare) I discovered in a box in our walk-in closet. Why ever do we have a lint remover? For the many wool sweaters we don't own?
Another great example for a machine that is just too useful to ever actually be used is our hot dog maker. Yes, we own a hot dog maker. And it was me who bought it, when I was still living in Germany. For some reason the idea of buying a machine that would heat the sausages and the hot dog buns at the same time made perfect sense, even though I never liked hot dogs. The hot dog maker now is my husband's favourite. Not to make hot dogs, no - just to laugh about it and the fact that it was ME who bought the thing.
I could continue with this list for a very long time, but I must go now. I have to remove some lint and eat a hot dog or two. Why? Because I can!
There is, for example, the lint remover (noppborttagare) I discovered in a box in our walk-in closet. Why ever do we have a lint remover? For the many wool sweaters we don't own?
Another great example for a machine that is just too useful to ever actually be used is our hot dog maker. Yes, we own a hot dog maker. And it was me who bought it, when I was still living in Germany. For some reason the idea of buying a machine that would heat the sausages and the hot dog buns at the same time made perfect sense, even though I never liked hot dogs. The hot dog maker now is my husband's favourite. Not to make hot dogs, no - just to laugh about it and the fact that it was ME who bought the thing.
I could continue with this list for a very long time, but I must go now. I have to remove some lint and eat a hot dog or two. Why? Because I can!
September 19, 2008
Emergency babysitting
A couple of months ago my husband and I got invited to his cousin's wedding. Unfortunately we lost the invitation pretty much right away, so we were not 100% sure on which day the wedding was. I thought I remembered that it was at the end of October and for some reason we accepted that as a fact without checking again. Guess how shocked we were to discover that the wedding was actually THIS SATURDAY. Not only had we not put together clothes, we also did not have a babysitter for Pontus, which was a real disaster. He is so active right now, there's no way we could take him with us. But who should we ask? All of my husband's family will be at the wedding, Muddiz and her family are celebrating Milton's birthday that day and all of my friends are out of town. Of course I could have put Pontus on a plane to Berlin with a little note around his neck (like Paddington bear) and then have my friend Sarah look after him, but I have a hunch that Child Protective Services would not have liked that.
In the end we asked Muddiz and her husband and they agreed to help out. I can not tell you how relieved and grateful I am. With the party and packing for their trip to Turkey they really have better things to do than look after our little monster.
The two Raffaello we have left - they are theirs! And as soon as I get an opportunity there will be more Raffaello coming their way!
In the end we asked Muddiz and her husband and they agreed to help out. I can not tell you how relieved and grateful I am. With the party and packing for their trip to Turkey they really have better things to do than look after our little monster.
The two Raffaello we have left - they are theirs! And as soon as I get an opportunity there will be more Raffaello coming their way!
September 06, 2008
Awesomely bad music
What does it say about me when I not only know 38 of the 40 songs on VH1's Top 40 "Most Awesomely Bad Nr. Ones", but sing along to all of them wholeheartedly because I most certainly know the lyrics to what I consider to be timeless classics and beloved hits from my youth?
That I am getting old? That I have an awesomely bad taste in music? I guess asking my husband why "they don't make music like they used to anymore" and sighing afterwards earns me points in both those categories...
That I am getting old? That I have an awesomely bad taste in music? I guess asking my husband why "they don't make music like they used to anymore" and sighing afterwards earns me points in both those categories...
September 02, 2008
Gulag camp
Yesterday was my first day back at work after 10 months. Of course everybody asked how it felt to be back and I'll tell you the same thing I told them:
"Imagine having the feeling that you need to see something else, get away for a while. But instead of vacationing on an exotic island you get hauled off to a Gulag camp. So yes, you did get away and it is something new, but maybe not quite what you had really hoped for."
"Imagine having the feeling that you need to see something else, get away for a while. But instead of vacationing on an exotic island you get hauled off to a Gulag camp. So yes, you did get away and it is something new, but maybe not quite what you had really hoped for."
August 21, 2008
A day (or two) in the life of...
In the last 48 hours I
- got my arm stuck in the diaper bin (up to the elbow)
- poured myself a drink only to remember right afterwards that I had already done the same thing less than 2 minutes before
- removed Pontus' bib when he started to suck on the label, fearing that his tomato-coloured spit would leave a stain on his shirt, went to get a new bib and returned to find that he had used those seconds to wipe his whole face on his clothes
- attempted to stomp a sparrow to death on Medborgarplatsen because I thought it was a rat/mouse hopping towards me (We all know rats and mice like to skip, don't we? It's what they do!)
- tried to make Pontus fall asleep, dozed off myself instead and woke up to find out that he had miraculously learned how to sit up by himself
- wondered why my friend kept talking about wanting to become a regissör (director) only to find out (much) later that she had been saying "researcher" the whole time
- poured ketchup into Pontus' lunch and ate it and his fruit snack because I didn't feel that he was as hungry as me
- screamed when the toasted bread popped out of the toaster because it scared me
- realized that we had been using the diaper bin without a trash bag in it
- knocked over the bowl with Pontus' breakfast
- put on my only clean pair of jeans to go out and left the house less than 5 minutes later with huge wet stains on them because Pontus decided to pee on me
- found myself sitting on the toilet, watching in horror as Pontus started to pull the drying rack that was leaning against the wall towards him
- took a nap with my head resting on my keyboard
- got the wrong dressing on my Subway sandwich and agreed to let them scrape it off
and
- washed my clothes together with a paper towel
- got my arm stuck in the diaper bin (up to the elbow)
- poured myself a drink only to remember right afterwards that I had already done the same thing less than 2 minutes before
- removed Pontus' bib when he started to suck on the label, fearing that his tomato-coloured spit would leave a stain on his shirt, went to get a new bib and returned to find that he had used those seconds to wipe his whole face on his clothes
- attempted to stomp a sparrow to death on Medborgarplatsen because I thought it was a rat/mouse hopping towards me (We all know rats and mice like to skip, don't we? It's what they do!)
- tried to make Pontus fall asleep, dozed off myself instead and woke up to find out that he had miraculously learned how to sit up by himself
- wondered why my friend kept talking about wanting to become a regissör (director) only to find out (much) later that she had been saying "researcher" the whole time
- poured ketchup into Pontus' lunch and ate it and his fruit snack because I didn't feel that he was as hungry as me
- screamed when the toasted bread popped out of the toaster because it scared me
- realized that we had been using the diaper bin without a trash bag in it
- knocked over the bowl with Pontus' breakfast
- put on my only clean pair of jeans to go out and left the house less than 5 minutes later with huge wet stains on them because Pontus decided to pee on me
- found myself sitting on the toilet, watching in horror as Pontus started to pull the drying rack that was leaning against the wall towards him
- took a nap with my head resting on my keyboard
- got the wrong dressing on my Subway sandwich and agreed to let them scrape it off
and
- washed my clothes together with a paper towel
August 15, 2008
"Doing a Muddiz"
The last couple of days I have been a little unfocused and doing what Muddiz claims to be her specialt talent: really, really stupid things.
First there was the Chocolate Mousse incident.
I wanted to make Choclate Mousse, but even though I stirred for a very long time the mousse just wouldn't thicken. It turned out that I had poured the milk into a measuring cup designated for flour, effectively using twice as much milk as I needed. It was a great chocolate milk shake though.
Then there was the Coca Cola incident.
I had poured myself a cup of Diet Coke when I realized that I had spilled some on the floor. It was really just a tiny spot, but I wanted to clean it up anyway, so I turned around to grab some kitchen paper. Imagine how smart it would have been to remove the filled glass first. It was standing on the divider between the upper and lower half of the fridge and when the door slammed shut it knocked the glass over and there was Coke all over the place. I will try to look on the bright side here and say that one could at least not make out that one tiny spot in the large Diet Coke sea that was our kitchen floor anymore. Worst of all: this is not the first time I have made that mistake, but rather the fourth or fifth (plus some "almost accidents"). And I got lucky this time as most of the Coke ran down the outside of the fridge. On other occasions I have had to empty and clean the complete lower half of the fridge. I just don't learn...
And then, today, there was another Chocolate Mousse incident.
I do not only seem to eat Chocolate Mousse way to often, I definitely seem to stupid to prepare it correctly. Even though, in all fairness, the preparation as such was not the problem this time. Everything worked fine until I wanted to clean up. I took the hand mixer to the sink and pressed the button to release the beaters. Which would have been fine, had I been using my usual hand mixer. I was using another one though and that one did not have a button to release the beaters. Instead I turned it on and Chocolate Mousse flew everywhere. Until I figured out what was happening there was mousse all over the place. Another not-so-bright moment.
P.S.: My Muddiz-ness also seems to rub off on other people. Moving our new tv into the living room yesterday my husband destroyed the display of our (also new) telephone. He managed to overlook that a unit of his stereo system (plus remote control) was still left in the old tv bench and when he moved it that unit fell out and on our phone. The tv bench only had 4 shelves and the unit we are talking about here is a black box that contrasted nicely with the light pine wood the tv bench is made of. Plus the remote. But hey, I had already done so many stupid things - who am I to point the finger.
First there was the Chocolate Mousse incident.
I wanted to make Choclate Mousse, but even though I stirred for a very long time the mousse just wouldn't thicken. It turned out that I had poured the milk into a measuring cup designated for flour, effectively using twice as much milk as I needed. It was a great chocolate milk shake though.
Then there was the Coca Cola incident.
I had poured myself a cup of Diet Coke when I realized that I had spilled some on the floor. It was really just a tiny spot, but I wanted to clean it up anyway, so I turned around to grab some kitchen paper. Imagine how smart it would have been to remove the filled glass first. It was standing on the divider between the upper and lower half of the fridge and when the door slammed shut it knocked the glass over and there was Coke all over the place. I will try to look on the bright side here and say that one could at least not make out that one tiny spot in the large Diet Coke sea that was our kitchen floor anymore. Worst of all: this is not the first time I have made that mistake, but rather the fourth or fifth (plus some "almost accidents"). And I got lucky this time as most of the Coke ran down the outside of the fridge. On other occasions I have had to empty and clean the complete lower half of the fridge. I just don't learn...
And then, today, there was another Chocolate Mousse incident.
I do not only seem to eat Chocolate Mousse way to often, I definitely seem to stupid to prepare it correctly. Even though, in all fairness, the preparation as such was not the problem this time. Everything worked fine until I wanted to clean up. I took the hand mixer to the sink and pressed the button to release the beaters. Which would have been fine, had I been using my usual hand mixer. I was using another one though and that one did not have a button to release the beaters. Instead I turned it on and Chocolate Mousse flew everywhere. Until I figured out what was happening there was mousse all over the place. Another not-so-bright moment.
P.S.: My Muddiz-ness also seems to rub off on other people. Moving our new tv into the living room yesterday my husband destroyed the display of our (also new) telephone. He managed to overlook that a unit of his stereo system (plus remote control) was still left in the old tv bench and when he moved it that unit fell out and on our phone. The tv bench only had 4 shelves and the unit we are talking about here is a black box that contrasted nicely with the light pine wood the tv bench is made of. Plus the remote. But hey, I had already done so many stupid things - who am I to point the finger.
June 24, 2008
"Du är en Svenne nu"... *
...is what the lady at the post office said to me upon handing over the mysterious letter that I had received a pickup notice for.
Never one to believe in psychic powers I opened the envelope and saw that she was in fact right. Less than 2 weeks after I sent in the forms Migrationsverket had granted me Swedish citizenship and sent the certificate to prove it. I believe the papers were in the mail longer than it took them to process the application.
Of course I immediately started to think about the great new possibilities I now have as a Swedish citizen. I could for example pile up debts or commit crimes. This would have been a problem before as it negatively affects your application for Swedish citizenship. But now that I am Swedish - why hold back?
Because it is wrong, people. It is wrong and not funny at all. What were you thinking...that I'd really...? Shame on you!
Another thing I could do is change my name. Or add another one at least. In Germany it is close to impossible to change your name for reasons other than marriage or divorce. Here in Sweden it is relatively easy though, especially if you just want to add a middle name. And I find that thought tempting, considering how much I dislike my given name. I could just add a cool (or at least cooler) middle name and then have people call me that. But I need to choose wisely...
* (Translation: "You are a Swede now")
Never one to believe in psychic powers I opened the envelope and saw that she was in fact right. Less than 2 weeks after I sent in the forms Migrationsverket had granted me Swedish citizenship and sent the certificate to prove it. I believe the papers were in the mail longer than it took them to process the application.
Of course I immediately started to think about the great new possibilities I now have as a Swedish citizen. I could for example pile up debts or commit crimes. This would have been a problem before as it negatively affects your application for Swedish citizenship. But now that I am Swedish - why hold back?
Because it is wrong, people. It is wrong and not funny at all. What were you thinking...that I'd really...? Shame on you!
Another thing I could do is change my name. Or add another one at least. In Germany it is close to impossible to change your name for reasons other than marriage or divorce. Here in Sweden it is relatively easy though, especially if you just want to add a middle name. And I find that thought tempting, considering how much I dislike my given name. I could just add a cool (or at least cooler) middle name and then have people call me that. But I need to choose wisely...
* (Translation: "You are a Swede now")
June 22, 2008
Mopey and lazy
I am a little mopey at the moment, for no specific reason. Being mopey takes a lot of energy away from other things, so I haven't finished any of the projects I started today.
I did not:
- publish any of the 4 longer postings I wrote
- buy a present for my friend Sarah's wedding (which is on Friday)
- improve the layout and design of my blog (I did take a look at the XML file though)
- find a suitable photo management software for the kazillions of pictures we have
- reply to any of those emails from people waiting to hear back from me
But then again there's always tomorrow...
I did not:
- publish any of the 4 longer postings I wrote
- buy a present for my friend Sarah's wedding (which is on Friday)
- improve the layout and design of my blog (I did take a look at the XML file though)
- find a suitable photo management software for the kazillions of pictures we have
- reply to any of those emails from people waiting to hear back from me
But then again there's always tomorrow...
Pink elephants
Why do I keep feeling the need to paint a picture of a pink elephant?
What does it all mean?
What does it all mean?
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