July 05, 2008

Grrrrrandparents

Remember my ranting about grandparents the other day?
Here is a great example of what I was talking about:

When I handed over Pontus to his grandfather on Friday he had several sets of fresh clothes with him. When I got him back on Saturday he was wearing a new body that his grandparents had bought and put on him. Unwashed. All of the clothing I had packed down was returned unused.
I always wash clothes I buy for Pontus. Always. I may be a sloppy mother otherwise, but I do not like the idea of my child wearing clothing that is potentially dirty and smells of factory. This rule applies even more so now that he puts everything into his mouth, including his sleeves.
The body he was wearing smelled so strongly of rubber and God-knows-what, I don't know how anyone could even consider putting it on a little baby.

But that was just the beginning.
As a thank you for taking care of Pontus we had offered to drive my parents-in-law out to Dalarö. They were invited to a birthday party there and my husband and I thought that it would be nice to go for a walk by the water after we dropped them off, so everybody squeezed into the car. During the ride my mother-in-law suddenly said: "Oh, I am sure you will all come inside with us to say hello to everyone.". I discreetly motioned to my husband that I was not interested in that and he replied: "No, we are just dropping you off and then we will continue on right away.". To which his mother said: "But Pontus can come in and meet everyone, what's the problem with that?". My husband made it one again very clear that we did not intend to stay and meet anyone, but would simply drop them off and leave again. Nothing more was said about it until we reached our destination.
But as soon as we came to a stop in the driveway, the following scene unfolded: While my mother-in-law got out of the car, my father-in-law, who was sitting in the backset with her, stayed put. He then opened the door on Pontus' side from the inside and remained seated until my mother-in-law had gone around the car and secured the door from the outside. And while my father-in-law got out of the car, my mother-in-law started to call for her friends to come outside to meet Pontus.
My husband and I were sitting in the car, engine running, repeatedly saying that we wanted to leave, while my mother-in-law held the door open, making it impossible for us to drive off, while more and more people appeared. Needless to say that the whole situation made us look bad, but who ever cared about that?

My mother-in-law got her way like she usually does. And she is oh so smug about it. She thinks she is clever, tricking other people into doing what she wants - for her it all seems to be a game. What she does not seem to realize is that she actually hurts others with her behaviour. She is not funny, she is simply disrespectful.
My husband agrees with me, even though he finds it hard to believe that his mother would be invidious on purpose. But no matter if she does it intentionally or not, it just can't continue. He has talked to her about this several times, but she cares as little for what he says as for what I say.
So far I have held back because I think that it is my husband's job to solve issues with his side of the family. And God knows he tried, but to no avail. So I guess it is time to take off the gloves and show my mother-in-law what I go for.
You wanna keep pushing me around? Bring it on...

2 comments:

Muddiz said...

Maybe your mother in law should read your blog?

Evil Bambi said...

I would really think that BEING TOLD TO YOUR FACE that your behaviour is offending people would be much more effective. But after seeing Saturday's performance, worthy of any SWAT team, I am not so sure that her and I think alike.